Boundaries, once set, are important to keep. Set boundaries according to what you are willing to live with and what you can accept. Create options for your teen that you can accept and are willing to abide by. Let your teen make a choice. These guidelines are important for both the teen and the parent.
Some kids have deep emotional wounds we cannot heal. We can, however, validate their experience. We need to let them know that we see them, hear them, agree with them and understand them. This way we let them know that they exist and are bing heard.
When we have strong emotional reactions, it is because our core beliefs have been violated. Blaming others is not the answer. We need to take ownership of our feelings. My feelings are not your (the teen’s) responsibility. This understanding creates space for growth and change.
Look at it from their perspective. Imagine how they feel and let them talk. Try your best to listen and understand.
White, red and black are colors that are often found in fairy tales. They represent the world, self, and death (wisdom), as well as ways of being in the world.